Monday, May 08, 2006

I don't really know what to say here anymore. It's a frustrating feeling. I'm pre-occupied with thoughts of Nova, and can't find words to express the meaning of the thoughts. I claim to be a writer, words are my tools, but they fail me, or I fail them, one or the other.

It's been over a month now, and I think it's gotten harder rather than easier. I don't have so many things to distract myself with. When Alexis died, it was such a sudden thing, from birth to death. Coming to terms with her death was faster, more of a punch in the gut than it's been with Nova. This, this is like drowning. More painful, slower. . . And it's barely begun.

The other day someone said that they thought that Nova being my second child to die must make the process easier. This isn't like riding a bicycle, this isn't something that you get better at with practice. I think I, too, thought it would be, but I was wrong.


posted by Erin @ 10:30 PM   4 comments



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Name:
Donovan "Nova" LeClair
Location:

Monroe, North Carolina
Bio:
Nova was our second child to be born with congenital heart defects. We lost our daughter at 12 days after open heart surgery in 2001. Nova was born 12/2/05, with Pulmonary Atresia with VSD. He lived 6 weeks after surgery, and passed away on April 6th, 2006. This blog is his story, and the on-going story of how our family is dealing with the loss of our beautiful boy.
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