Sunday, July 23, 2006
I co-hosted my niece's baby shower yesterday. She'd expecting a little boy, little Tristan. She concieved very close to the time I had Nova. When I found out she was expecting I volunteered to help my sister throw the shower. I was all excited at the time, but after losing Nova, I was a little less than enthusiastic. But I'd been the one to suggest it, and volunteered myself, and when it came time, I couldn't back out. I don't have it in me to back out on my responsibilities and leave someone else hanging. I admit though, I had to work myself up to walking out the door yesterday. I was afraid it would be too hard, that I'd fall apart and ruin the whole thing for my niece, while simultaneously looking like a damned fool. But talk myself into it I did, and I loaded the truck up with enough food to feed an army, and off I went.
I actually enjoyed myself, a lot. I don't get out of the house often, let alone for a day of all girl fun. We chitted and chatted and played silly games and laughed and poked fun of the mom-to-be and at each other and joked and handed out gifts and it was all around good.
There were moments. Tough ones I mean. Like when she pulled out a tiny little pair of socks - blue and white with paw prints. Nova had a pair just like them, I bought a friend of mine a pair similar to them JUST because they were like the ones Nova had. But the bad moments were outnumbered greatly by the good and I ended up being glad I'd done it. Sometimes I just have to push myself to do things because I work them up in my head to be potential disasters.
Of course all hell broke loose at home while I was gone, and the rest of the night was a mess, augmented with glasses of rum and Coke. But it all ended with my husband and I talking on the porch, both feeling a little tipsy and mellow, and watching a thunderstorm whose mood seemed to match our own. It was a great ending to the day.
posted by Erin @ 7:57 PM