Sunday, July 23, 2006

I co-hosted my niece's baby shower yesterday. She'd expecting a little boy, little Tristan. She concieved very close to the time I had Nova. When I found out she was expecting I volunteered to help my sister throw the shower. I was all excited at the time, but after losing Nova, I was a little less than enthusiastic. But I'd been the one to suggest it, and volunteered myself, and when it came time, I couldn't back out. I don't have it in me to back out on my responsibilities and leave someone else hanging. I admit though, I had to work myself up to walking out the door yesterday. I was afraid it would be too hard, that I'd fall apart and ruin the whole thing for my niece, while simultaneously looking like a damned fool. But talk myself into it I did, and I loaded the truck up with enough food to feed an army, and off I went.

I actually enjoyed myself, a lot. I don't get out of the house often, let alone for a day of all girl fun. We chitted and chatted and played silly games and laughed and poked fun of the mom-to-be and at each other and joked and handed out gifts and it was all around good.

There were moments. Tough ones I mean. Like when she pulled out a tiny little pair of socks - blue and white with paw prints. Nova had a pair just like them, I bought a friend of mine a pair similar to them JUST because they were like the ones Nova had. But the bad moments were outnumbered greatly by the good and I ended up being glad I'd done it. Sometimes I just have to push myself to do things because I work them up in my head to be potential disasters.

Of course all hell broke loose at home while I was gone, and the rest of the night was a mess, augmented with glasses of rum and Coke. But it all ended with my husband and I talking on the porch, both feeling a little tipsy and mellow, and watching a thunderstorm whose mood seemed to match our own. It was a great ending to the day.

posted by Erin @ 7:57 PM   1 comments

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Donovan "Nova" LeClair

Monroe, North Carolina
Nova was our second child to be born with congenital heart defects. We lost our daughter at 12 days after open heart surgery in 2001. Nova was born 12/2/05, with Pulmonary Atresia with VSD. He lived 6 weeks after surgery, and passed away on April 6th, 2006. This blog is his story, and the on-going story of how our family is dealing with the loss of our beautiful boy.
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