Monday, September 25, 2006
It's hard to come to terms with the fact that Nova's been gone so long already. Nearly 6 months, half a year. That seems like such a long
time. The hospital visits, the surgeries, they seem so long ago, so far in the past... But April 6th, the last time I held him and rocked him, is still so fresh. It doesn't make sense really. I don't suppose there's any rule that says that any of this should
make sense, but sometimes the way things don't make sense anymore really bothers me.
Things not making sense would seem to be something that, through experience, I should be pretty comfortable with. Truth is, I'm no more comfortable with the chaos and craziness, I've just started to learn that I'll never understand it. Accepting that is the first step in working around it, right? I mean, when there's an elephant in the middle of your living room, you can walk around him, or you can waste a lifetime trying to push it out of your way.
I've been doing pretty well with ignoring the elephant, stepping around him, but today I can't concentrate on anything else. I don't know what it is, but he sure has my full attention.
posted by Erin @ 1:26 AM