Sunday, November 19, 2006
I am a conundrum
Most of the time, the things that should effect me in an emotional way no longer do. I am often detached and distant, and find little pleasure in the things I once loved and enjoyed. Poetry, blogging, writing... they don't appeal to me much anymore. My interests have shifted. But even on a more personal level, things feel different, I feel them less.
And yet there are times that something strikes such a deep chord with me, hurts me in ways it just shouldn't. I get offended, indignant, and hurt by things that were not directed at me at all, and were never intended to be hurtful to anyone. For example: the video on Michael's blog - lord knows there is nothing hurtful in a video of a child laughing hysterically. It was adorable, and yet, I bawled.
I'm just having a hard time regulating my emotions. It is either one extreme or the other. And my reactions are all over the place. I'm grumpy, I'm clingy, I'm weepy. I yell, I cry, I hide, I go out to dinner with virtual strangers and laugh till I'm about to piss myself.
I no longer trust myself to be rational. I think I've lost my mind. But then, I know that it isn't my mind I've lost at all.
posted by Erin @ 1:08 PM