Wednesday, December 06, 2006

so tired

UGH! I am so tired of marking my mental calendar according to how long it's been since or should bes. Nova has been gone 8 months today.

We took the cake and toys to CVRU on his birthday. Shanda was there. I adore her. They're all so sweet. We laughed and played with the toys and talked, and I fought the urge to ask if I could go visit with someone else's baby... They would've said no, privacy issues, plus, it just would have been weird, but I wanted to go see a baby. He spent so much time there...

I found a very old picture of Tommy today, from when he was about 8 months old. I was shocked to see how much he and Nova looked alike. I never saw that before... I took me by surprise and I had to do a double take. I never thought about what Nova would have looked like when he grew up - maybe now I don't have to wonder.

I look at myself in the mirror and realize how gloomy I've become... How sad and old I look... How much worse I'm coping than I was a few months ago...

posted by Erin @ 9:21 PM   2 comments

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Donovan "Nova" LeClair

Monroe, North Carolina
Nova was our second child to be born with congenital heart defects. We lost our daughter at 12 days after open heart surgery in 2001. Nova was born 12/2/05, with Pulmonary Atresia with VSD. He lived 6 weeks after surgery, and passed away on April 6th, 2006. This blog is his story, and the on-going story of how our family is dealing with the loss of our beautiful boy.
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